Monthly Archives: January 2012

A Coffee Encounter

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“I do not believe a person needs to attend church in order to go to heaven.”

I looked him in the eyes, evenly. “I don’t either.”

His face became puzzled. “Then why do you want me to go?”

I had explained to this man earlier that I wanted him to go to church because I believe in Heaven and in Hell. I told him that I could not force God upon him, but that I at least wanted to be sure he knew more about Jesus Christ because it makes me sick to envision him in Hell someday. Oh yeah, and I did not want to be the one to teach him about Christ. Hence, the invitation to church.

“I believe that you need a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in order to go to Heaven. I want you to come to church so that someone other than me can teach you about Jesus. I did not want to talk to you about Jesus because you like me.” I slowly poured forth my reasoning.

His eyes twinkled, but he still looked slightly puzzled. “What makes you think I like you?”

I fixated a “You’ve got to be kidding me!” expression onto my face and crossed my arms. He started to grin and then reiterated, “What have I done to make you think I like you?”

Several obvious signals stood out in my memory. I made a quick reference to something he had done earlier that day and then challenged, “Tell me you don’t like me!”

“I can’t,” he conceded. Then he smiled shyly and looked away for a second. When he met my gaze again his eyes were still twinkling.

After that issue cleared up I returned to my initial point. “Sometimes a man who likes me will tell me whatever he thinks I want to hear. I did not want to tell you about Jesus because I did not want you to make a decision based on your feelings toward me.”

My latte vanished within the first fifteen minutes of our conversation. But we sat and talked for over an hour. Our discussion ranged from church and salvation, to drinking and smoking, to hunting and motorcycles, to marriage and past experiences, to why bad things happen if God is merciful, and back to a relationship with Jesus Christ. I’m sure I’ve skipped a few things as well.  All in all, I enjoyed the time spent together immensely.

Which leads to my next dilemma. What do I do in the future? Now that I have shared the gospel with this man, Operation Flirt to Convert is complete. He knows all that he needs to know in order to make a decision. If I move further I will cross the line into Missionary Dating. I kind of wish that I had hated the entire Coffee Encounter. But I didn’t. I loved every minute of our friendly debate and humorous banter. The more serious aspects of our conversation also intrigued me. His point of view, even where it differed from mine, was very interesting. I almost hoped he would make me angry or disgust me. Then I would not have to contemplate a next step. I would simply walk away.

As it stands, I’m not sure how to proceed. He assures me that he will come to my church sometime under the condition that I sit with him. He does not want to sit alone like an outcast in an unfamiliar place. I understand that. Unfortunately, now that he knows about Jesus, I do not feel such a strong desire for him to attend my church. Now that the Good News has reached him, I worry about the trivial things that escaped my imagination previously.

Suddenly I am extremely aware of how potentially awkward I may feel while I introduce this man, whom I have no clear relationship with, to the other attendees at my small church. He is not my boyfriend, not my husband, not my brother, cousin, uncle, or any other kind of kin. He is not a friend visiting from out of town. He is not close friends with someone that I know. In all reality he is a random stranger whom I’ve met a handful of times and have no reason to still be connected to – except because he likes me and I want him to meet Jesus.

Sitting across from a table, sipping coffee wasn’t so bad. Sitting beside him in a pew sounds terrifying. What will I do if he slides his arm behind me across the back of the pew? Exactly how close must we sit together? Does “Bible’s width apart” apply? If so, where might I find a bigger Bible? Instead, might I be able to borrow one of my pastor’s kids to sit between us? Or will that cause us to look like a family?

GAAAHHHHHHH!!! When did this all become so complicated? Note to self: Cats are so much easier than men. Let’s skip Flirt to Convert next time the opportunity arises.

Flirt to Convert: Prelude to a Coffee Encounter

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Coffee Encounter

I originally planned to write on a completely different subject this week. But today’s events altered my plans. Flirt to Convert v. Missionary Dating? Where is the line? Is one tactic acceptable, while the other is not? Are neither acceptable? Or are both okay?

Let us start with my definitions of each term:

Flirt to Convert: a tactic involving two single people. One person is Christian. The other is not. Christian uses flirtatious banter (including lengthy chats, lots of smiling, perhaps giggling, etc) to become acquainted with Non-Christian. Interactions may be casual and light-hearted, but Christian’s aim is always to drive Non-Christian toward a relationship with Jesus Christ. Relationship does not become deep and intimate. Dating is a no-go.

Missionary Dating: also a tactic involving two single people. One person is Christian. The other is not. (Sounds the same so far, right? Here comes the difference.) Christian wants to date Non-Christian, but knows that the Bible says something negative about the subject. (Something about Christians and Non-Christians can’t share egg yolks …) Christian chooses to date Non-Christian despite their difference in faith, with the declared intent to win over Non-Christian for Christ. Common sentiment expressed by Christian would be “Maybe if we date for a while, he will see Jesus in me, and then he will get saved!”

Personally, I believe that the Flirt to Convert approach is completely okay. I tend to be rather flirtatious by nature. What I consider friendliness, others deem flirting. I have accepted this phenomena and moved on with life, okay with the fact that others call me a flirt. I feel as if charming a man into conversation about Jesus is not such a terrible usage of my flirtatious personality.

Missionary Dating, on the other hand, rests on my “Don’t ever do it” List. First of all, it almost never works. Sure, there is an exception to every rule. Some Christian, somewhere dated a Non-Christian and the Non-Christian got saved afterward. As a general rule, however, this does not happen and I am therefore opposed to the practice of Missionary Dating. I refuse to marry a man who is not Christian. If I were to date a man who is not Christian, I would either be leading him on or headed down a path that goes against my convictions.

Summation: According to the Cat Lady, Flirt to Convert is on the safe list and Missionary Dating is not.

However, my current predicament causes me to doubt all previous beliefs regarding this issue. You see, tonight I will attend a “Coffee Encounter” with a man who is not Christian and who has made clear that he is interested in me. I call it a Coffee Encounter only because I am in denial and refuse to refer to it as a date. He invited me out to dinner. I counter-offered, “Let’s meet somewhere for coffee instead.”

Typically speaking, I would have already told this man that I am not interested in any kind of romantic relationship. However, our conversations have been quite sporadic. Today, he passed me in his truck while I was walking to church and so he called me. It’s not like we talk often or run across each other daily. Usually, we stumble into each other completely at random, I invite him to church, he says he’ll go “someday”, and then we move on. With this completely informal, unpredictable form of acquaintanceship I have not been sure how to tell him I do not want to date him. I only want to be his friend and see him develop a personal relationship with Christ.

After a texting session which included questions from him about why I want him to go to church and comments from me about how we should talk about some of this in person… Now I have a Coffee Date – I mean, Encounter – with him after church tonight.

I suddenly feel as if Operation Flirt to Convert morphed into Missionary Dating. And I’m not comfortable with that. Those of you reading who are Christian, I covet your prayers tonight. I do not want to hurt this man. I do not want to be a bad witness to him. But I also do not want to date him or continue to lead him on. Please pray that things go well. And let me know, what are your thoughts on Flirt to Convert v. Missionary Dating? Those of you who are not Christian, how would you feel if a Christian were going through this debate specifically over his/her relationship with you? Do you think this is all petty or do you understand why it seems like such a big deal to someone like me? How would you want the Christian to proceed? Would you feel betrayed by a Christian who used either tactic on you?

Barefoot and Single

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Men are like shoes

 

I don’t mean this to sound shallow. I’m not trying to degrade men. I’m not talking about having a lot of them. I’m not talking about walking all over them. The comparison just seems to fit. Let me explain.

I have never enjoyed wearing shoes. I prefer bare feet. People constantly ask if my feet hurt or if they are cold. I tire of explaining that if I get too uncomfortable, I will put some shoes on.

A girl walks up to me in a gorgeous pair of stilettos. At first glance, I’m kind of jealous. They look so perfect. They’re cute and stylish; they accent her outfit marvelously. She gathers more confidence with each step she takes, from each compliment she hears. I want those shoes. I want that man. He’s a feast for the eyes. He has charm to match. He makes any girl look good. But as I look closer, her feet are slightly red and swollen. When we sit down for dinner she slides those shoes off under the table. I’m suddenly turned off by those shoes. I’m suddenly turned off by that man. All the attention is on him. She lingers in the shadows. He’s completely unaware of her pain, her discomfort. She doesn’t feel like she fits in with these people around her. But he does, and she’s with him.  Therefore, she needs to get over it and stay. The confidence this man or those stilettos bring her is fake. I wiggle my toes freely. I am comfortable with myself. I can leave if I want to. My bare feet may not attract the same kind of attention as those stilettos, but maybe I don’t need it. I’m content.

As I leave dinner I get outside and notice a different girl. She’s never been very popular. Not many boys pursue her. But she wants a boyfriend so badly. She has snatched up the first pair of shoes she could find, settled for the first guy that asked her out.

“Hi, Sarah!” Her smile is radiant. “Look at my shoes! Aren’t they unbelievable?”

I smile hesitantly, trying not to inhale. Her shoes aren’t necessarily bad looking, but they obviously haven’t been taken care of.

“Mhmm… unbelievable.”

Quite simply, these shoes stink! Any recent feelings of loneliness vanish at the thought of dating a man with horrible hygiene. I want a guy who cares about himself enough to stay healthy and clean. If he won’t take care of himself, how can I ever expect him to take care of me? In the hot summer sun, we wave our goodbyes and I go on my way, grateful that my feet are free to wiggle through the cool mud or even just to sweat, and then be hosed down clean afterwards. I could never put up with the stench of those shoes.

Next I meet a girl wearing some really nice shoes. They look clean, comfortable, and stylish. But she’s walking kind of funny. After a moment I realize that her shoes are too small. I watch her over my shoulder as she hobbles along.

“Oomph!”  Another girl runs into me.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I tripped,” she says, then looks up at me nervously. “My shoes are a size too big. Are you okay?”

I assure her that I will be fine then walk away, curious over what I have just witnessed. Both pairs of shoes represent some really great guys. Unfortunately, these guys don’t complement the girls they are accompanied by. The first girl wants room to grow, adventure, and experiment. She doesn’t have that freedom with her man. He limits her in many ways. She can’t be herself with him. The second girl wants to run, jump, and dance. Her floppy, oversized shoes trip her up and hinder her performance. He is a great guy, and he might even be the right guy. If he is, however, the timing is off. In a few years he may fit her better. By dating him now, before the time is right, she wears him out and loses more interest in him each time he causes her to stumble. Song of Solomon warns us more than once, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the does and the gazelles of the field. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5). This girl may be ruining her own beautiful love story by acting out of impatience.

I stroll into my house, happy that I’m still barefoot. For now I enjoy the freedom to run and dance, grow and adventure. Life isn’t perfect barefoot and single. Some days are lonely. I may walk across hot pavement or sharp rocks. Maybe someday I will find the right pair of shoes to protect my precious toes. But until then, I choose to focus on the feel of green grass and soft sand and to be satisfied exactly as I am.

Dear Men Who Want Me:

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To the 58 yr-old who took the last $60 out of his account and invited me to dinner:

It’s not that I don’t find you attractive – I just don’t date guys who are more than 39 and half years older than me. That’s not even my rule, actually. It’s my dad’s… Something about he gets jealous when I date men who are older than him. I apologize.

BTW [Wait – you’re old. BTW means “by the way”.] Next time you ask an eighteen year-old bank teller out to dinner, make sure you have more than $60 to your name. Money was your only shot.

 

To the college kid who’s mother gave him $20 to take me out because she likes me and wants grandkids:

Where did you want to go? McDonald’s? Yeah… I really like you and everything. I’m just terribly afraid of clowns. Every time I see a picture of Ronald McDonald I pee myself. Wendy’s? Funny coincidence – red-headed girls also make me pee. So do Chihuahuas. And Oven Mitts that talk. And anyone wearing a cardboard crown. In fact, any place you can afford to take me that sells food – probably a bad idea. Why don’t we just skip the whole going out to eat thing? Instead, you can go home and get on Facebook and start liking all my pictures. I’ll go home and work on potty training. Yeah.

 

To the guy who hit on me while his girlfriend who I am friends with was standing about ten feet away:

You’re terribly cute. I’m just not into threesomes. Next time you want to flirt, wait until your girlfriend is out of state and then LIE TO ME. Tell me she got hit by a bus or something. Then when she calls me up crying because you’ve left her for someone else I will at least have the opportunity to tell her it’s not my fault. I thought she was dead.

 

To the crackhead who stays at his ex-girlfriend’s house next-door:

Two words. Find teeth. Then maybe we can talk. Or maybe not. I’m sure you will have come off your high by then and completely forgotten this conversation anyway.

 

To the man who started his own cult and wants me to bring a tambourine and join him while he proselytizes the good people of our city:

I am honored. Truly. Most men that ask me to dance with them do so for carnal reasons. You are the only man I’ve ever met who asked me to dance in order to spread his religion. As much as I respect and perhaps envy you for your audacity to walk around barefoot in our community, I cannot be with you. It’s not you – it’s the fleas that I’m sure live on you. Personally, I might be willing to overlook the issue. But if I brought home a man with fleas, my cat would never forgive me. It just won’t work. Oh yeah, and you think my Savior is the devil. I feel like that could also cause tension.

To everyone else:

This is just a sample of the men who pursue me. These are some of the responses I longed to express. Do you now understand why I am a Cat Lady? More stories to come… just give me time.

The Friendgirl and the Married Man

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Song of Solomon 5:16

His mouth is most sweet,

Yes, he is altogether lovely.

This is my beloved,

And this is my friend,

O daughters of Jerusalem!

Song of Solomon is often credited as the Bible’s “book of romance”. In verse 10 of chapter 5 the Shulamite begins to physically describe her beloved. She paints a picture of him from his head “like the finest gold” and his black, wavy locks of hair (v11) to his feet which also happen to look like “fine gold” (v15). In modern language, she is hot for him! He’s gorgeous. She sums up the description with a quip about his kiss, and then concludes by declaring her own rights to him. She claims him as her beloved – but also as her friend. It’s not just about sex or attraction. She admits that companionship is also key. There is a level of friendship that should only exist within marriage.

Fast-forward a little bit and after a few years of marriage to Mr. Headntoesofgold, everything is fine and dandy. Then she meets “the friendgirl”.

Ladies, have you ever found yourself wandering into “friendgirl” position with a married man?

Can you imagine how the Shulamite would have reacted if her claim on her husband had been violated? When a husband has another female friend who knows him in an emotionally intimate context, something is not right. The vulnerability that creates that “one-fleshness” that marriage is often noted for has been compromised.

It often stems out of innocent circumstances:

  • He is  a co-worker and we just click.
  • He’s friends with my brother. I like to hang out with them.
  • We have so much in common. He’s really easy to talk to.
  • We share a hobby. His wife doesn’t like to join us.
  • He’s Christian. He encourages me.

The fact is – it doesn’t matter how the friendship started. At a certain level the relationship becomes too personal and you  have transformed from female acquaintance to a threat toward his marriage. Often men stumble into these situations when they are struggling with their marriages. As females, our vulnerability is attractive to men. God built within men the desires to protect and provide for women. When things get rocky in marriage, a man may veer toward a female friend who seemingly needs his support. Unlike the single man in the Boundless article, a married man may keep you at arm’s length because he does not want to ruin his marriage. He would never cheat on his wife – at least not physically… But in all reality, his deep camaraderie with you may already be causing damage.

Long conversations, heartfelt secrets, shared memories all lead toward desire. You may both enjoy the benefits of a friendgirl relationship. But I assure you his wife will not. A non-physical friendship that seems harmless enough is actually frequently termed “emotional adultery”. A friendgirl wreaks havoc in a marriage because her presence leads to envy, mistrust, and possible infidelity between the spouses.

Ladies, if you think you are getting too close to a married man, I have one word of advice: “FLEE!”

I do not care how valuable the friendship is to you or to him. If it threatens his marriage it needs to end. Pour your heart out to another girl, or to a male family member, or to God – but stay away from that man. Down the road you will be glad you walked away. Nobody wants to be the “reason that couple split up”.

Guys and Girls – Can they just be friends? Response from a Friendgirl (Part 2)

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I know he likes me. His face lights up when I enter the room. He turns his whole body to face me while we are talking in a group. He goes out of his way to do me favors. He offers his assistance or services any time he can.

How do I let him down easy? How do I reject someone who has not technically pursued me yet? I can’t say “no” to a question that has not been voiced.

I do not want to cut off contact with him. I legitimately value him as a friend. Only as a friend. I know he is interested in something more. But how do I express that I am not interested in anything more until he asks?

I cannot go around rejecting every man that is the least bit friendly to me – just in case he bears romantic interest. But I also should not lead on the man who clearly likes me but has not voiced his feelings yet.

I’ve already talked about Alex – a wonderful man that I refused to date and used as a “guy friend” instead. Fear held me back with Alex. Fear is not the issue in this case, however.

I’m simply not interested in dating this guy. He is a nice, Christian man. I would be happy to set him up with a friend, which means I really do think highly of him. But he is not my type at all. We have very similar personalities. I am a firm believer in the “opposites attract” concept – and for a reason.

I am loud, talkative, and outgoing. Therefore, I am drawn to men who are more quiet and laid-back. I tend to be impulsive and adventurous. This nature compels me toward men who are also somewhat adventurous, but more thoughtful and perhaps, cautious. Like a puzzle, I want someone who fits me. Where I have in’s, he has out’s and vice versa.

Due to similar interests, my friend and I have a lot of fun when we spend time together. Unfortunately, our comparable personalities will cause problems in a committed relationship. For instance? We are both loud and incredibly stubborn. I see fights turning absolutely vicious. We both like to talk. A lot. Two talkers plus zero listeners equals two frustrated people who desire more attention.

I suppose my main goal in this friendship is to remain honest. I do not want to be accused of using this man or abusing his interest in me. I do not want to violate his trust. I do not want to manipulate his feelings. Open, honest communication is the best preventative I can come up with.

Guys – do you have any suggestions? If you were interested in a girl and she did not return the feelings, how would you like her to let you know what she felt? Would you want to continue the friendship? Or would you be more comfortable cutting off contact entirely?

Girls – have you ever found yourself in a similar situation as this? How did you communicate with the man you befriended? Did you discover a gentle way to express your feelings? Was the man hurt? Are you still friends?

He’s Just My “Guy Friend” – Response from a Friendgirl (Part 1)

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He is just a “guy friend” – not my boyfriend. We may hang out each weekend. We may talk on the phone for three hours at a time. We may share our hopes and dreams for the future – minus any reference to a committed relationship. We may pray with and for each other. We may study God’s word together. We may confess some of our deepest secrets to one another. But he is just my guy friend.

My point? Joshua Rogers’ article is directed toward men. I agree with his concept – but I’d like to grab that accusatory finger and direct it toward the females now. To be specific, I’m aiming his finger toward myself.

I had a good friend throughout high school whom I will call Alex. For four years Alex and I maintained a very close, platonic relationship. We both moved several times. We kept in touch despite distance. He was one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I felt like I could tell him nearly anything. I went to him for advice when I faced difficult decisions. I called him up to complain when I felt overwhelmed or stressed. He was the first to know when something wonderful happened in my life. I cried on his shoulder each time something devastating happened in my life.

He dated a few different girls over the course of our friendship. I never felt jealous. I knew those relationships lacked the depth his and my friendship possessed. That girlfriend would not know him like I did. She would not understand him on the same level as I could. I had no reason to envy a girlfriend because I knew that I was receiving the full benefits of his emotional intimacy.

Alex was a better man than the young man in Joshua Rogers’ article. After years of friendship, Alex approached the subject of a deeper relationship. Although he faced the possibility of losing a strong and solid friendship, he asked about a dating relationship anyway.

I loved Alex. I truly hoped to marry him. The idea of sharing my life with him excited me. Nonetheless, I told Alex that I viewed him as a brother and that I was not ready for a deeper relationship. While he was hinting toward a dating relationship – before he actually voiced the question, I brought up other guys that I liked in order to steer him away from the possibility.

Although I desperately desired something more – I ran from the opportunity when he presented it. Why? Fear. I could not risk losing such an amazing friendship. The friendship was guaranteed. Romance would spin everything out of control. If we started dating, and then broke up, the friendship would never be the same. I could not chance that. I preferred to use him as my best friend with no physical contact than to move forward in a more holistic relationship.

My married friend shared with me this weekend that the friendship she has with her husband is of primary importance to her. She told me that the physical aspect to their relationship is nice, but that the companionship is more imperative for her satisfaction; she can be happy without the physical aspect. Because men are wired differently than women, the physical aspect of their relationship is of greater importance to him than it is to her.

Following that principle, the companionship I gained from Alex was enough to satisfy me. In essence, I used his vulnerability toward me for my own fulfillment and denied him the dating relationship he may have desired. My motives were completely selfish. Although I admit that I would have liked to marry him, I ultimately chose the platonic relationship over the possibility of marriage using classic “bird in hand” mentality. I limited Alex to “guy friend” status, despite his feelings.

Your Friendgirl Deserves Better by Joshua Rogers

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http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002508.cfm#share

This is an article posted on a singles webzine I enjoy. Although this article is aimed toward men, I read it – and felt shamed by it. I am posting it for anyone who is interested to read and ponder. My response directly to this article will follow on Monday. Let me know what you think! Have you seen this “friendgirl” phenomenon?

Financial Freedom!

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Someone asked me today if I have kids. I said, “No” and we moved on. But something about that question always resonates with me. No husband. No kids. Nothing to tie me down. Just a kitty cat. And cats are rather portable. There is a certain freedom in singleness.

When I get paid, I only need to budget for my own groceries. I only need to budget for my own clothing. I can splurge on something and take it out of my own vacation fund, rather than sacrifice something more important like money for my children’s school supplies. Cat food and cat litter aren’t that expensive – especially in comparison to baby food and diapers. Oreo is due for his annual shots. We will visit the veterinarian on Monday. Although his shots are not cheap, they do not compete with doctors’ and dentists’ bills for a child.

Things are tight sometimes, for sure. But I can learn to live without a few luxuries. In fact, living without gives me healthy perspective. If I don’t have enough money to buy groceries at the end of the week, I can fast for a few days. In some parts of the world, eating is a privilege – not a right.

Many singles complain about the financial struggles that come with living alone. Grass is greener on the other side of the fence mentality declares that the income of a husband and wife will stretch much farther than a single person’s income. In all reality marriage and children rarely improve anyone’s financial conditions.

Singles have freedom to make mistakes without negatively impacting too many other people. I can move my career across the country without worrying about the effects of uprooting a family. I can pursue that dream job which will not necessarily pay the greatest. Nobody but Oreo is depending on me. This is a wonderful stage to be in while I learn how to manage money. Any risky or unwise decisions that I make will affect me – but they will not burden my loved ones. (Note: Risky and unwise are not terms to be used interchangeably. Risk is not always unwise.) Singles have the opportunity to build stability as well as learn healthy spending and saving habits before we commit to mates who will share financial burdens. If we learn from our mistakes in singleness, we may prevent financial strains in future relationships. If we remain single for life, wisdom regarding finances will always prove beneficial. Any good practices we adopt while we are young will help us as we near retirement.

The Scent of Singleness

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Cats migrate toward Cat Ladies. I stepped outside of my apartment this weekend to discover Punkin, a neighbor’s cat who the SPCA came to pick up a few weeks ago, sitting on my porch waiting for my attention.

Since the SPCA had taken him, I was rather surprised to see him back. I’ve never fed Punkin. He is not allowed inside. (Oreo does not like him – if nothing else, I am loyal to my Oreo. The apartment is strictly his territory.) Still, Punkin comes back. Oliver, another neighborhood cat, showed up on my porch in a similar manner. I don’t leave food. I don’t have mice. I just love on them when they stop by. They always come looking for more.

Expensive colognes sometimes contain pheromones, chemicals that secrete from a man’s body which may create a physical reaction in a woman. Essentially these chemicals are meant to capture a woman’s attention. Scientists say that pheromones are absorbed or recognized through a person’s nose. I suppose we can “sniff out” love, in a sense.

This phenomenon caused me to wonder if there are other chemicals humans secrete and sniff out. Is this process truly limited to men and their pheromones? The cats in my neighborhood seem to be able to sniff me out from all my neighbors. (I hope that does not mean I stink…)

My friend and her husband dropped me off at our meeting point after Bible Study one Tuesday. I left their car and entered my own. My home was only about a two minute drive. Before I reached my destination, however, the friend I just left had already texted me. Her husband was curious as to whether or not I would be interested in meeting his friend. I asked if he was talking about a get-together as buddies or a blind date. The response was almost immediate. Blind date.

About two weeks later I walked into my co-worker’s office to drop off a report. As he spoke into his phone he motioned for me to take a seat.  I plopped down in a chair. He hung up after leaving his message and declared, “I spoke to your future father-in-law yesterday.”

Feeling rather clueless, I replied, “Which one?”

He chuckled and reminded me of a young man he had hoped to introduce me to months ago. This young man would be home visiting from college for the Christmas season. My co-worker told me he would like us to meet during that time frame. He assured me that he does not usually set people up this way, but he cannot help himself in this particular situation. He believes we are perfectly suited. I listened to him describe “my future husband” for a few more minutes, and then I wandered away from his office back to my desk.  He and his wife had asked this prospect what he was looking for in a girlfriend. The young man answered, “I want a girl who is at peace with herself.”

Apparently my co-worker and his wife believe that I fit that description.

Then of course, another woman I work with is constantly hoping to set me up. Every time she thinks of someone new, she drops a hint. I’d be lying if I said these were the only three persons determined to find me a mate.

I cannot help but wonder if I exude a scent of singleness. Interestingly, my chemicals do not seem to attract single, young men. They drift instead toward cats and matchmakers. Oh, well. I suppose there are worse things I could attract.