I know he likes me. His face lights up when I enter the room. He turns his whole body to face me while we are talking in a group. He goes out of his way to do me favors. He offers his assistance or services any time he can.
How do I let him down easy? How do I reject someone who has not technically pursued me yet? I can’t say “no” to a question that has not been voiced.
I do not want to cut off contact with him. I legitimately value him as a friend. Only as a friend. I know he is interested in something more. But how do I express that I am not interested in anything more until he asks?
I cannot go around rejecting every man that is the least bit friendly to me – just in case he bears romantic interest. But I also should not lead on the man who clearly likes me but has not voiced his feelings yet.
I’ve already talked about Alex – a wonderful man that I refused to date and used as a “guy friend” instead. Fear held me back with Alex. Fear is not the issue in this case, however.
I’m simply not interested in dating this guy. He is a nice, Christian man. I would be happy to set him up with a friend, which means I really do think highly of him. But he is not my type at all. We have very similar personalities. I am a firm believer in the “opposites attract” concept – and for a reason.
I am loud, talkative, and outgoing. Therefore, I am drawn to men who are more quiet and laid-back. I tend to be impulsive and adventurous. This nature compels me toward men who are also somewhat adventurous, but more thoughtful and perhaps, cautious. Like a puzzle, I want someone who fits me. Where I have in’s, he has out’s and vice versa.
Due to similar interests, my friend and I have a lot of fun when we spend time together. Unfortunately, our comparable personalities will cause problems in a committed relationship. For instance? We are both loud and incredibly stubborn. I see fights turning absolutely vicious. We both like to talk. A lot. Two talkers plus zero listeners equals two frustrated people who desire more attention.
I suppose my main goal in this friendship is to remain honest. I do not want to be accused of using this man or abusing his interest in me. I do not want to violate his trust. I do not want to manipulate his feelings. Open, honest communication is the best preventative I can come up with.
Guys – do you have any suggestions? If you were interested in a girl and she did not return the feelings, how would you like her to let you know what she felt? Would you want to continue the friendship? Or would you be more comfortable cutting off contact entirely?
Girls – have you ever found yourself in a similar situation as this? How did you communicate with the man you befriended? Did you discover a gentle way to express your feelings? Was the man hurt? Are you still friends?