Friends?

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Boy likes girl. Boy says sweet things. Boy buys nice gifts. Boy spouts deep dreams. Boy opens car doors. Boy is sooo handsome. Boy is sooo charming. Boy is sooo respectful.

Boy, it feels good to have all this attention. Boy, it feels good to be on top of his world. Boy, it feels good to be treated like a princess. Boy MUST be Mr. Right.

Boy gets girl. Boy abandons friends. Boy ignores acquaintances. Boy only talks to girl, only thinks about girl, only spends time with girl, only cares about girl.

Boy, it feels good to be the most important aspect of boy’s life.

Why does boy care about girl? Because he is in love? No… Boy cares about girl because girl makes boy feel good. Once girl stops making boy feel good, boy will stop caring about girl.

We’ve all seen it. We’ve all been stung by it. Our friend enters a relationship… and we lose said friendship. It is completely unhealthy. And it happens way too often.

Unfortunately, people seem to think that two people who shun the rest of the world so that they can spend every waking minute together are in a healthy relationship. They say the couple is “in love” and move on. They mistake this kind of obsession for devotion.

In all reality, at the core of any healthy romantic relationship is a strong friendship. A person who walks away from all other friends to “devote” himself or herself to his/her love interest does not know how to be a good friend. If a person does not know how to be a good friend, s/he cannot be a good boy/girlfriend. My example above showed a man interested in a woman. It can go opposite ways just as easily. This isn’t a dig against men.

If he cannot be a loyal friend, he cannot be a loyal spouse. If she cannot be trusted around other men while you are dating, she cannot be trusted once you are married. If she cannot keep a friend’s secret, she cannot keep her boyfriend’s secret. If he lies to his friends, he will lie to his wife. If she interrupts her friend during arguments, she will interrupt her husband during arguments. If he blames his friends for his problems, he will blame his wife for his future problems. If she twists others’ words, she will twist her husband’s words. If he doesn’t listen to others while he is mad at them, he won’t listen to his wife when he gets mad at her. If she walks away from friends without explanation, she will walk away from her husband without any explanations. If he walked away from a perfect God whom he claimed to love, he will walk away from his imperfect wife whom he claimed to love.

It’s how relationships work. If you want to know if the person you are dating has what it takes to enter a healthy marriage, take a look at how s/he treats friends.

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