Still haven’t gotten my computer fixed, unfortunately. I keep forgetting… But I knew the world would forget me and my singleness if I didn’t post soon.
Just before Easter I met a young man. Late twenties or perhaps early thirties. He’s a chef. Had a motorcycle. Gorgeous blue eyes. Great smile. Sense of humor. Sounded very intelligent. Beautiful daughter. Single. My friend pegged him as “taken” simply because he had a child. I doubted her assessment since I saw no ring and no woman. He clearly announced his single status a little bit later. 🙂 Why would he point that out if he weren’t interested in dating one of us?
Here’s the thing: I am friends with his stepmother.
On the bright side, they get along well and she is in my corner. She was telling him that I would make a great mother and pointing out other strengths. The next day she told my mother that she thinks he and I would make a great couple.
On the not-so-bright side, she is his stepmother. After he didn’t ask for my phone number and I assumed he just moved on… I got thinking about several of the fabulous young men I’ve encountered recently. I seem to keep meeting these guys through their mothers. Somehow, I think this inhibits my progress. Who wants to introduce their girlfriend with, “This is Sarah. She was my mom’s best friend!”
Weird. I know. I can’t help it though. I hang out with a bunch of old ladies. “Old” of course is a relative term. No, they’re not 90. But they aren’t my age either. In all reality, these mothers would probably pick out excellent partners for their sons. They know those boys inside and out. If they recommend me, their sons would do well to listen.
However, how many guys really want relationship advice from their mothers? How many guys really expect their mothers to set them up on hot dates? I realize I have the wrong approach. I need to work through other people my own age.
I understand the hesitation these guys may feel. Even if they find me interesting, they probably stall over the concept that I hang out with their moms. I would. I almost automatically discard the notion of dating any man my mother recommends. Not because she doesn’t know me well. Not because she never meets young men. But because she does not understand my generation and the men she gravitates toward are complete losers… And they are often completely hideous. If she ever found one that I felt remotely attracted to, I would back away and assume he’s weird in a way I didn’t notice immediately. Just give it time – if my mother likes him he MUST be strange…
What am I going to do about this? How will I alter this pattern? I probably won’t. I work with people twice my age. I go to church with people twice my age. I’m resigned to the fact that I will continue to hang out with people twice my age. And I will meet their incredibly gorgeous sons. I will dive into infatuation. And when they neglect to pursue me because it’s completely weird that I’m their mothers’ friend, I will get over it. I will come home to my apartment and cuddle with my fuzzy companion, Oreo. And I will blog about life as a Cat Lady. Maybe if I were less comfortable with my life as a Cat Lady I would do something to change. Maybe.