Mr. Good Enough?

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Still pondering this book by Lori Gottlieb called Marry Him [The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough]… I cannot help but wonder, have I misjudged any Mr. Good Enoughs in my own pursuit for Mr. Perfect?

Mr. Dominant was a stable, Christian man. Thoughtful. Kind. Chivalrous. Full of integrity, I have no doubt. But I call him Mr. Dominant for a reason – he’s your ultimate man’s man. Hard head. Strong backbone. He liked me because so far we agreed on many things. But I knew that the moment I disagreed with him, we would fight. We are both fighters – we would have to fight. And the fights would probably get vicious. He always struck me as the kind of guy who would throw out a statement like, “Woman, submit!” in a fierce argument. I turned him down.

Mr. Marijuana Enthusiast. He’s not Christian. Super laid-back. Friendly. Seems to be a good listener. Deep thinker. He’s the kind of guy who can be friends with anyone. And he also thinks pot should be legalized. I’ve only ever expressed one opinion against marijuana to him. I told him I didn’t think he should smoke before he rode his motorcycle because it would slow down his reflexes which is terribly dangerous on a bike. Ever since then he has taken every opportunity to tell me why marijuana is good and helpful to people or society as a whole. He is obviously an addict, as opposed to a social smoker. And I know where he works – I don’t know how he affords his habit. I avoid the relationship avenue in conversation. 

Mr. Too Shy to Say Hi. Christian. Seemed sweet. My pastor spoke extremely highly of him. Servant-hearted. That’s about all I know. Because he almost never talked. One day after I had known him and had been trying to pull him out of his shell for weeks, he walked up beside me and stopped. He just stood there next to me. I prayed to God and said, “If he says even one word I will talk to him. But he has to say something. Anything. Even just ‘hi’. I will not speak to him until he initiates.” After a good two minutes of silence, he walked away. I sighed in frustration, and pretty much completely ignored him from then on.

Mr. Excitable. Newly saved. Friends with my brother. Very expressive. Very talkative. Gushed over me. He was completely obsessed with alcohol and his new ability to buy it [I wasn’t 21 yet]. Asked me out seconds after he told me that he didn’t date girls my age. I laughed in his face. He never wanted to see me again.

Mr. Old Man. Not Christian. Great job – not only did he love his work, but he was successful. Polite. Friendly. Obviously interested in me – without seeming pervy – which was very flattering. Terrible with time management. Left me hanging several times. But always tried to make it up. Very generous. Workaholic. Refused to date him due to the difference in faith. If he became Christian… I would probably still refuse him because he is 16 years older than me. We’re still friendly acquaintances.

Mr. Hippie. Christian. Artistic. We seem to have similar life desires and interests. I’m amazed at how much we agree on nearly everything we discuss. And the discussions are fabulous. But the job thing is constantly fluctuating. Reliability in general kind of sucks. Haven’t made any real decisions about him yet.

Mr. Catholic. Christian – from the world’s perspective. But I want a man that I can view as my spiritual leader. And there is a lot about Catholicism that I disagree with wholeheartedly. Other than that, I think he’s great. Funny. Upbeat. Stable job. Shared hobby. Respectful. Nice to be around. I smile at the end of nearly every phone call. Even if he’s calling with a problem. Haven’t made any firm decisions about this one either.

Mr. Prince Charming. Christian. Tall, dark, and handsome. Values women. Treats his mother like an angel. Good job. Makes me laugh. Laid-back. He’s really a winner all-around. I would TOTALLY date him. But he’s never asked me out… Am I aiming too high?

Well -these are a few… What do you think, guys? Was I too harsh? Am I as bad as the girls in Gottlieb’s book that I scoffed at? I want to know: In a man’s opinion, have I passed up (or am I passing up)  a Mr. Good Enough in a way that I shouldn’t have?

Are my current reservations legitimate? Or am I being too picky – even unreasonable? 

Girls, I want to know what you think as well. Have you passed up a Mr. Good Enough, only to cry about it later? What would you consider a dealbreaker?

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4 responses »

  1. Hey Sarah,

    Haha “Too shy to say Hi” made me laugh, that poor man.

    I am currently looking as well, but since my ex-fiancée I haven’t dated any women till just the other night, we get along well and can talk for hours. Then I find out that she is a Pagan Buddhist and hears and sees things and also has an issue with stabbing people…great…just like my ex.

    There is one girl at work, christian, beautiful etc… but she is taken so no point in trying there.

    Damn frustrating this whole business isn’t it?!

    I don’t think you are being too picky though, I can be the same depending on who it is and some small things can make me say no quite quickly.

    Best of luck 😉

    Matt

    • I think it’s great that you’re passing up someone who’s into stabbing people. I think that’s a VERY good idea.

    • lol – thanks, Matt! I definitely appreciate your input. It is frustrating!

      As for “an issue with stabbing people”…? That definitely beats the issues I listed above… hahaha. I can’t help but ask – how did you find out about that issue? Did this girl try to stab you?!?!

  2. I named off every single guy by name in my head, except for Mr. Too shy to say Hi, because you’ve never told me his name.

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