Reflections: Love, Respect, and Sex

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http://www.cbn.com/700club/features/voiceofhope/

Okay, I skipped a few weeks on responding to these 700 club episodes. I’ll admit, it is no coincidence that I procrastinated on this specific episode. For one thing, I’ve written a lot about sex recently. I kind of wanted a break. Bur another reason I avoided this one is because I’m simply not sure how to respond.

I agree with parts of the teacher’s philosophy. I’m not so sure about other parts. I agree that sex within marriage is God’s plan and that it is absolutely the best way to go. I don’t suggest sex outside of marriage. However, his words leave me wondering how a couple will readily embrace the sexual union inside of marriage after training themselves to stay so far away from it.

That is always my issue when I look at the church’s approach to sex. I feel like this “Bad, bad, bad, stay away!” approach immediately followed by “You’re married now! Everything goes!” is just a disaster waiting to happen. I’m not necessarily sure what else to suggest, however.

Purity isn’t the part I struggle with. Single purity that leads into married purity is the issue I struggle with – if that makes sense. I think the sky high divorce rates within the church are a decent indication that whatever the church is teaching about sex and marriage right now isn’t very effective. I still feel as if the church uses the words “lust” and “attraction” synonymously. And I don’t think they should be interchangeable. I believe there is an important line that separates the two. I’m just not sure if I could point out that line.

Your thoughts?

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4 responses »

  1. While we are encouraged to be celibate before marriage, saying sex is a bad thing is not true. You need to realize that sexual desire is a natural thing, and once you start acting on it, it only gets stronger. That is why the church teaches to stay away from it until you are married. Once you “indulge” it will be hard to stop. So, don’t worry about sex being awkward after marriage, it may feel awkward at first, but you will soon become very comfortable with it, that is human nature.

  2. Sex is a beautiful natural process that God created. And our owner’s manual (The Bible) tells us that it is only for marriage. For me, I know it’s better emotionally to wait. The difference between attraction and lust: I would say attraction is when a trait of the opposite sex, be it physical or whatever, catches your eye – and you can appreciate that for what it is. And decide to pass on it or not. I would say lust is when you take a second look, stare, or feel any bodily processes start to change.

    • Thank you, Shannon. I liked your response. You mentioned that attraction may or may not be physical – I’m wondering what you would consider symptoms of emotional lust? Or do you think such a thing even exists?

      • Sara – I think for a marriage to work there has to be a physical as well as emotional connection. But just as the physical, an emotional attachment to the extreme is not good either. Just the idea of two people going from friends to a couple overnight is foreign to a lot of people. We live in a society where everything is expected in comfortable “stages.” So if that emotional attachment is put in perspective and is not overdone, then there is more to come together on your wedding day. From 0 to 60 in two seconds flat. I think that’s how it should be.

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